Relationship are fragile, they constantly need to be built up and maintained to keep them healthy and flourishing. Still, breakups happen, and they can cause hurt feelings, be stressful and difficult to deal with. Most often people want to get back at their ex, but you have to ask yourself if that is the best route to take. One influential way can put your ex in a predicament, but may also work to repair your former relationship. These 5 tips can serve a dual purpose, while they work to get back at your ex, they may also work to getting your ex back.

1. Don’t be needy. Act strong, no one likes having someone who is needy hanging around. Stop begging and exhibiting behavior that makes you seem desperate. Let your ex see that you have moved on and are doing fine by yourself. When your ex sees you have moved on, they will notice that they have not.

2. Shut down communication with your ex. At least minimize communication even though it seems counterintuitive when what your really want is to get back together. Yet, it is one of the most important steps to take whether you’re getting back at your ex or trying to get back together. By taking some time away from your ex it allows time for the dust to settle and your ex will realize just how important your relationship was.

3. Be flexible. This may have been a side of you that was missing during your relationship and your ex may be surprised to see this side of you. Don’t be demanding or forceful with your ex like giving them timelines to move out or pick up their things. Listen and sympathize with your ex, this may inspire them to build lines of communication and rekindle the relationship.

4. Socialize. Get out of the house, spend time with friends, work on building a social network and get some entertainment in your life. This doesn’t mean you need to date or try to pick up the opposite sex, but you do need to get out and enjoy life. This will serve two purposes, it is therapeutic and it shows your ex that they have let a big catch get away.

5. Be yourself. It may have been awhile since you acted as yourself. Your ex fell in love you because of who you once were. Go back to being that person and let your ex remember why they loved you in the first place. This renewed perception will rub off on your ex and be a reminder of why you had a relationship to begin with.