Product Description
“In this readable and practical book, Dr. Flesberg addresses the needs of approximately 18-20 million children under age 18 who face parental divorce with lifestyle changes in the liminal place known as the “switching hour.” The “switching hour” is Flesberg’s term for the psychological, physical, and spiritual space between the respective homes of divorced parents measured by clock time as well as the context and lifestyle in which these children seek to balance the different ways of being that these homes represent. The book invites parents, grandparents, other relatives, and caregivers to enter responsibly into the world of the children of divorce.
“Chapters 1-7 begin with a child’s letter. These letters plus intermingled vignettes lead the reader to connect with the soul and angst of each child. For Dr. Flesberg this connection is a prerequisite to the reader’s responding redemptively to these children of divorce. Each chapter illustrates and defines the needs of children of divorce and then offers guidelines for appropriate response. A suggested reading list is included in the final chapter. This is useful for personal or group reflection.
“Her use of the children’s narratives is diverse and compelling. Seminal themes and commentary are clinically accurate and creatively presented. The caring guidelines for response are well thought out and useable. The book is theologically sound, interfaith sensitive and inclusive, and gracious to the reader. This reader was touched profoundly by the uniqueness yet commonality of the children’s stories. The Switching Hour offers hope and suggestions to those who seek to care responsibly and effectively for children of divorce.”
James W. Pruett, Ph.D.; D.Min.; LMFT; LPC; CFBPPC
Product Details
- Amazon Sales Rank: #27500 in Books
- Published on: 2008-01-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Hardcover
- 128 pages
Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
While underdeveloped, this well-intentioned attempt at listening to the heartbreaking voices of children of divorce struggle between two households merits some serious attention. A pastor and counselor in Nashville, Tenn., Flesberg offers eight brief chapters delineating the conflicts children express, in letters and quotes, as they are literally torn between lives with mothers and fathers, lost in the liminal place somewhere in between. They bemoan not seeing both parents every day and having constantly to move between two places they are supposed to call home. They express frustration at always being in a state of expectation, guilt and sometimes terrible disappointment, such as when a parent doesn’t show up. The children do not look forward to stressful holidays, deflecting attacks by one parent at another or having to accept new step-family. As well, children relay their questions and confusions regarding their relations with God, Christian or otherwise. In review chapters and checklists, Flesberg gears this guidebook toward divorced parents who need and want to ease their children’s bewilderment and distress. There is a great deal of important information, although it deserves much more development than this slim book provides. (Jan.)
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From the Publisher
“To read…Dr. Flesberg is to be confident that our children in our homes, churches and synagogues will be loved, protected, listened to, and cared for during their parents divorce and all the years following…There is real healing on these pages. This book is a warm coat in a chilling wind. It fulfills an urgent need in our homes and faith communities…As clergy, The Switching Hour is my first choice to support a family through divorce and the years that follow.”
–April Ulring Larson, Bishop of the LaCrosse, Wisconsin Area of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America
“Flesberg’s genius is her ability to pack a great deal of information for parents, educators, counselors and clergy into a short, easily accessible and wlel-organized book. As a rabbi, I now have much better insight into the trauma these children face. The author encourages clergy of all faiths to embrace the important role they have in helping these wounded children voice their fears and concerns of both God and their world. As a therapist, the book called attention to the heartbreaking separation anxiety faced by each of these children over and again. Within days of reading The Switching Hour, I shared many bits of its wisdom with single parents in my practice and ministry. Flesberg vigilantly keeps her spotlight of inquiry on the hearts and pains of these unique children. Yet her message is a human one, reaching far beyond this specific population. I heartily recommend the book to all thirsting for a deeper understanding of both the internal and external emotional lives of children of all circumstances.
–Ari Fridkis, NYC, Rabbi, LCSW
Customer Reviews
Powerful and applicable to all.
This powerful and thought provoking book should be required reading for all divorcing couples with children. It is truly applicable to anyone touched by divorce and with the current divorce statistics that likely includes everyone. Dr. Flesberg has given us insight into the child’s world, enabling us to develop compassion and then to take action. It is an easy read, but their is nothing simple about this book or topic. I only wish it had been available 15 years ago to help guide me and my child through the “switching hours”. I have already bought several copies to give to friends and fellow counselors.
long overdue
Dr. Flesberg has produced a book which meets the needs of working professionals, parents, and parents who are working professionals! It is well written and researched. I have already begun using this in the parish. I heartily recommend this book to anyone who loves kids, loves parents, or both.
The Rev. Lewis A. Groce
Trinity Church
Tullahoma TN
An important and accessible contribution
Dr Flesberg has condensed many years of pastoral experience and academic research into this small, practical, accessibly written book which can be confidently placed in the hands of busy parents, pastors, and anyone else who cares about children. A skilled teacher, she guides the reader into empathetic understanding of the experience of children of divorced parents, and provides clear, wise suggestions for how to help. I have already recommended The Switching Hour to a number of friends and relatives, and will continue to do so.
To order or for more information…Separation and Divorce Support – The Switching Hour: Kids of Divorce Say Good-bye Again
On every page, this book stresses the importance of minimizing conflict, explains complex legal problems concisely, and provides advice on how to protect your interests. Plus, easy-to-use charts make it simple to find the divorce laws in your state.
Mavis Hetherington, “without doubt the world’s preeminent researcher on the family processes that surround divorce,…has distilled the wisdom growing out of her many studies of the short-term and long-term impact of divorce on family members” (Eleanor Maccoby, Stanford University).