A Father’s Guide To Child Custody Arrangements

If you’re a father going through a divorce then you know how hard child custody arrangements can be. But don’t worry. This article will give you 10 steps to help you in your child custody arrangements issue. But please remember. Keep your CHILD’S interest in mind first, and not yours.

This should go without saying. However, be active in your child’s life. The judge will look at how much time you spend with your child and that will play a big role in who gets custody.

Try everything in your power to work child custody arrangements out with your wife BEFORE going to court. This could save you some headache in the future.

Talk to your ex-wife about making a child custody agreement. Include things like who will see your child on his/her birthday, Easter, Halloween, Christmas, New Years and so on. If you and your ex-wife can agree on at least SOME terms, it’ll save you time and money in court later.

Read more…A Father’s Guide To Child Custody Arrangements – Wheretofindpedia

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Children- The True Victim Of Divorce

Children- The True Victim Of Divorce by Ruth Purple

The family
is the basic unit of society and every care should be taken to preserve
it by the state, church and the family itself. However, if counseling
and reconciliation cannot solve the conflict within the family, divorce
maybe seen as the best solution. To couples with kids however the
situation is much more complex as compared to childless couples.
Divorce can be devastating to the children and may leave a long-lasting
scar that may affect their being useful citizens of the community.
During the divorce process, the offspring’s will go through emotional
conflicts. Anger is prevalent. Anger at the present condition, anger
towards their parents, themselves and some may feel that they are to at
fault for the separation.

Feelings of sadness, misery and loss
are felt because there will be changes in where they will live. They
will lose the other parent, their friends, their school, people and
circumstances that stabilize their daily lives. They will feel
rejection. Studies have shown that boys and girls are affected
differently and respond in various manners. Boys are more rowdy because
they have to show and act out their inner feelings. They go on fights,
they are defiant. They cause disturbances and would not be still even
for a short period of time. They are the ones who will turn to drugs
and alcohol.

They girls on the other hand suffer inwardly and
become introverts. They are apprehensive and miserable. Thus they turn
to untimely relationships or sexual promiscuity that may lead to early
pregnancy or early marriage. Thus if not guided accordingly these
children tend to stop school and will waste themselves into substance
abuse. They will become citizens with emotional and mental illnesses,
criminals or discards of society. To save the children, the parents
should have the obligation to guide their children through the divorce
process and for a period after that until their emotional conflicts
have been resolved. They should subdue their own emotion turmoil and
together try to show the same affection and devotion for the children.

Explain
to the kids to make them understand why the parents have to go on their
separate ways. They have to be assured that they are in secured hands
despite the changes in the family set-up. During the divorce
proceedings, the couple should be civil with each other because this
will also have a bearing in alleviating the negative feelings of the
children. It will slowly enfold in their understanding that they are
undergoing a process and a change but they will still have their both
parents. After the divorce has been finalized, visitation of
non-custodial parent should be encouraged and made a positive
experience to everyone.

The children can then accept the
situation gradually and will cope with the changes in their lives. On
the other hand, the non-custodial parent is also encouraged to have a
hand in the affairs of the child and will be a constant partner in
guiding the growth of the children. Divorce however does not generally
leave negative reaction from children. In families where there are
constant conflicts, physical and verbal abuse, the children themselves
will welcome the situation that their parents will be separating. They
will be relieved by the daily stress and problems undergone by their
parents. It is the children of the families that are not at odds or
fight with each other that are mostly overwhelmed by the situation.

About the Author

The author of this article, Ruth Purple
, is a Relationship Expert who has been successfully coaching
individuals and couples in their relationships. Get A Copy of her
sensational ebook on Winning Over Infidelity. Experience a Happier Love Life.

Getting a Divorce Can Be Hard on Your Well Being

by Colleen

Both the before and after of a divorce can be hard on your well-being.

My friend recently went through it and there were many stages to the divorce cycle that you should probably know are coming to be better prepared and make life easier for yourself and those around you.

First there was just the question of separating. They have three kids which made this really hard on her to leave him.

But honestly how happy are you going to be when you are living with a man or woman you don’t love, with three kids to boot. You make yourself miserable and believe me…kids can sense that you are not happy no matter how much you try to hide it.

The constant back and forth of whether she should leave took much conversation and thinking on her part. To leave something and someone that has been permanent to your life and to do something else is scary. But scary is good. That means you are not a drone to life. You are really living. And once you get over the scary hurdle it becomes easy again. If there was no scary then we would all just ride through life not learning anything.

Finally she decided to leave, but because she had spent so long preparing she had a plan in effect and it made the transition a little easier on her and the kids. She knew when she was going to leave, where she was going to go, what she needed to get done to leave, where to have her kids while she left, and so on and so forth.

After she left, and started to begin her new life, she spent a long time putting off the divorce. I call that her buffer time.

That’s where you don’t want to cut that tie of marriage because it’s something that is familiar and something that you could, if you wanted to, go back to. Once you start the divorce it’s putting a stamp on your marriage and old life saying that you are really going in another direction and again that’s scary.

And then, after realizing that she was going to be okay on her own, she got the divorce. I have never seen her so happy. Not even at her wedding. Go figure.

Again though she had spent some time researching exactly what she needed to do so that there were no snags along the way. She had everything in order in this binder and knew what every term regarding divorce meant.

Now she has moved on and is in a new relationship. Both her and her kids are way better off for it and the ex-spouse has even showed more of his true colors now that he knows he’s not getting her back.

The point to divorce is to move on with your life with or without your ex-spouse. You can’t stay in a loveless marriage because it affects every single part of your life. You can’t be fully happy when one part of your life is not fully happy.

Once you break free from that unhappiness you have the chance to live the real life you were meant to live.

Your marriage wasn’t a failed marriage, it was just a lesson learned in what you don’t want. In essence, it was in your life to show you how to really be happy.

In any case divorce is still very stressful and there is lots of paperwork and phone calls to be done. And if you have kids there is their emotional well-being to think of as well.

This woman, Dr. Reena Sommer, has spent the past 18 years working with divorcing families. She is very familiar with the challenges they face – the most important one being – not understanding what the divorcing process is all about. If you want some good information check her out.

I suggest that you talk to someone like her or read what she has to say about everything involving divorce before you actually do it. It takes away all those ‘what about this’ thoughts and leaves you focused on taking care of you well-being, which is why you should be getting a divorce in the first place.

About the Author

Learn more about divorce from Dr. Reena Sommer & Associates

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